When did I Realize?
by ForElliot
Summary: Chapter three is up and there is a surprize that Elliot must come to terms with.please read and review
1. Chapter 1

When did I realize this?

Elliot walked into the SVU squad room in a hurry noticing that he was late and everyone was already in Cragen's office discussing the new case that had just broken out in the press leaking all of their leads and every shred they had not previously released in case someone came forth with new evidence. "Sorry I'm late captain rough morning the kids are sick and I had to wait on the sitter to get there." Elliot said sipping is cup of coffee that he grabbed on the way to Cragen's office. "No, problem Elliot just call next time?" Cragen said starting to talk again about the press and where the leak came from. "Captain, my connection at the post said that the leak came from someone inside the 1-6." Olivia said brushing her failing piece of hair from her ponytail to behind her ear. "Ok guys lets go out and this bastard off the streets" Cragen said opening the door to the office everyone walking out. "Elliot, stay I need to ask you a question?" Cragen said shutting the door to his office. "Ell, what is up with you? Where is Kathy at? And why do you have the kids? You know that with this job it is going to be hard to raise kids and work." Cragen said sitting at his desk. "Look captain I know all this but what am I suppose to do Kathy left and she is not coming back. I can't just give up my children after this week I'll have a steady sitter. I can handle it if it starts to impair my work I'll transfer t a job that will not be impaired by my being a father first." Elliot said walking out of the office grabbing the sedan keys and nodded to Olivia as she grabbed her jacket and walk to the car.

They got in the car are rode in silence before the Olivia turned on the radio and started to sing. Elliot reached over and turned the radio off Olivia looked at him with a stare that could slice butter. "What the hell is your problem today?" Olivia asked looking at him. "I'm just tired I was up all night with three sick kids." Elliot said looking at her picking up his coffee cup taking another gulp of the creamy brown liquid. "Sorry I thought that it was Kathy's weekend with the kids?" Olivia said looking over at him with sympathy in her eyes. "If you need anything, you know help with the kid or a weekend away from the kids so that you can relax just let me know." Olivia said smiling at him without even asking where Kathy was for a second time. "Thanks but I'll have a steady sitter after tomorrow. Which is a relief." Elliot said smiling at her watching her push the hair behind her ear again. As Elliot's mind ran wild looking at this woman who he had never been sexually attracted to and all of a sudden she looked beautiful like no other woman he had ever seen. But some how her beauty was different from any other woman's it was a mixture of brute strength and femininity with a slight hint of sexuality just below the surface. "Elliot what's wrong with you today? You seem so preoccupied." Olivia said looking over at him as they pulled into the parking lot of the Helman Academy. "What, no nothing is wrong just thinking about something's that have been playing heavy on my mind lately." Elliot said looking over at him has their eyes met the ocean blue crashing against the woody brown holding the gaze until Fin and Munch knocked on the window of their car. "What the hell is up with you two?" Fin asked looking at them as they got out of the car. "Nothing just talking about the case." Olivia said shutting the car door. "So what are you guys thinking happened to Sarah Beth?" Munch asked looking at her. "I think that she got in a relationship that was to much for her to handle and when she tried to end it the guy flipped out and that's when he raped and murdered her." Olivia said looking at Elliot who nodded in agreement. "Who did she get into the relationship with then?" Fin asked Elliot looking directly at Elliot wanting to know if they had all the answers. "I think that she was in a relationship with Brad Johnson then once he started to get boring she went to Michael Griffin, who is the schools bad boy he has a record for beating a classmate to a pulp during a fight." Elliot said looking over at Fin before he continued his scenario. "Then someone told one of the boys or both of the boys that Sarah was in a relationship both of them." Elliot finished smirking as they entered the school.

"Nice to see you again detectives." The headmistress, Ms. Clawson said greeting the detectives with a smile. "Good morning Ms. Clawson, how are you doing this morning?" Olivia asked as they entered the headmistress' office. "Sarah Beth was never in any trouble with the school or any teacher at the school. She was an exemplary student with great grades mostly A's and she plays on the softball and basketball teams. She is a cheerleader during football season, on beta team, the debate team, in numerous clubs and organizations at the school. She was just an all American girl." Ms. Clawson said with a forced smile. "What can you tell us about Brad Johnson and Michael Griffin?" Elliot asked adjusting in the hard leather seats. The headmistress got up and walked to her file cabinet looking for the files on both boys pulling out a thin file and two thick files. "Ok let's see, Brad is a sweet boy he works in the office sometimes and helps me by running errands." She said sitting down at her desk opening the first file. "Brad as never been in any trouble, he is involved in a lot of clubs and organizations, on the football team and baseball team, he is an all around good kid always helps anyone that needs help." She said looking up at Olivia who was walking around in a small circle. "Michael is another story he as been suspended numerous times, expelled once before I became headmistress here, been in trouble with the cops a few times is on probation for stolen goods and car thief. Never has been involved in any school club or organization. Numerous fights put a kid in the hospital once, he was on the baseball team once from half a season but his grade fell dramatically and was kicked off the team." She said closing the files getting up to put then backing the file cabinet. "Why did the academy let Michael came back?" Fin asked looking at the headmistress as she sat back down. "All I know is that all of his family as went here and they donate large amounts of money and architecture to the school." She said when the phone rings. "Can we finish this later?" She said returning to the phone call. As the detectives walked out of her office and closed the door behind them.

"I always say that money makes anything possible." Munch said as the detectives walked out of the office area into the hallway. "We'll take Michael and then I guess we'll take Brad." The detectives said walking in separate directions. "Do you think that everything between Liv and El are ok?" Fin said to Munch who just nodded his head in agreement. "I am sure they are fine." Munch said looking for Michael's classroom. "It's right here." Munch said looking in the classroom for Michael. "I am looking for Michael Griffin." Munch said looking at the class full of students. "He has not been here at all this week." The young teacher said with a smile. "Thank you." The detectives said walking out of the building. Olivia and Elliot were on their way to the baseball field to find Brad. "Coach, can you call Brad Johnson over we need to talk to him." Olivia said has the coach looked her up and down twice with a smile. "Sure anything for you hot stuff." The coach said as Olivia flashed him her badge. As Elliot's jaw clinched. "Brad come here." The coach said as Brad ran off the field toward them. "Yea how can I help you?" Brad said looking at both detectives lingering a little longer on Olivia. "Yea what was your relationship with Sarah Beth Smith like?" Elliot asked still watching Brad stare at Olivia. "She is my girlfriend; we have been dating for three and a half years." Brad said looking at Elliot this time. "That is nice when was the last time you saw her?" Olivia asked him looking toward Elliot who seemed uncomfortable. "I saw her on Saturday evening we went to a drive in movie we saw _Saw II_ afterwards we when to dinner I dropped her off at home at 11:00 pm." Brad said looking back at Olivia making her uncomfortable. But why was he making her uncomfortable? Olivia thought to herself no suspect had ever made her this nervous or uncomfortable. "I hate to have to ask you this but where you and Sarah Beth ever sexually active?" Olivia asked looking away from the young man. "Yes we were a few times." Brad said looking toward Elliot with a sly smile. "Did you have sex with Sarah Beth on Saturday night?" Elliot asked directing the boy's attention away from Olivia. "Yea so what, we had sex at the drive in." Brad answered getting a little snippy with them. "Thanks Brad if you remember anything that you want to tell us just give us a call." Elliot said giving Brad his business card. Both detectives were walking away from the boy but Olivia still felt his eyes on her and it still creped her out. "What's wrong Liv?" Elliot asked has they were walking up to meet Munch and Fin shaking her head no. "You guys have any luck with Michael?" Olivia asked as Munch walked to the car no he has not been in class all week, although his parents are the real estate mogul the Griffin's." Munch said sitting in the car "we were headed to is house now." Fin said smiling at them. "How about ya'll stay here and talk to some of Sarah Beth's friends and we'll take the Griffin residence." Elliot said with a pleading look in his eyes. "Sure here's the address." Munch said handing the address to Olivia. Who just sat in the car followed by Elliot who started the engine and started to drive toward the Griffin's house.

"Liv what is wrong? And don't say nothing because I know that something happened out there with that boy." Elliot said looking toward Olivia. "There was something about him that made me uncomfortable, he just got under my skin, and I think that we are looking at the wrong guy?" Olivia said looking out the window of the car. "Who do you think we should look at?" Elliot asked her stopping the car at a covenant store to get them a drink. "I just think that we should be looking at Brad." Olivia said getting out of the car. "But all evidence points to Michael." Elliot said. "But I know my gut and it tells me that Michael was just in the wrong place wrong time." Olivia said looking at the clerk paying for her gum and bottled water. "I don't know it just seems that this boy as been nothing but trouble for the whole time that he as been at the Academy." Elliot said looking for a bottle of cherry coke. "But look at this his first term before everything happened he had all A's in his classes and was on the baseball team. Then after Christmas break he comes back to the Academy and his grades fall he gets kicked off the baseball team and stops showing up for his classes. That is a common sign of abuse Elliot." She said has that got in the car and drove the rest of the way to the Griffin's house. "True or he could have just started using drug or drinking." Elliot said looking at her. "Well lets put money on it 20 he was abuse." Olivia said smiling at Elliot. "Ok." He said as they shook arriving at Michael Griffin's house.

"I know why you are here detectives; it's a bout Sarah Beth." A pale thin young man said before the detectives could even knock on the door. "Yes we are." Olivia said kindly to the young man showing him their badges. "Sarah Beth was my best friend she stood by me when no one else would she believed me." The young man said as his eyes filled with tears. "What did you she believes you about?" Elliot asked him taking his sun glasses off has they entered the elegant house. "I can't tell you because I'll be killed or disowned by my father." Michael said crying now. "Michael would like to take a ride with us down to the station so that we could talk there?" Olivia asked as Michael nodded his head yes. The car ride was eerily quite on the way to that station house. With Michael crying in the backseat and Elliot looking at Olivia wondering what could be so bad that she want to bring him in to the station. "here." He said slipping her the twenty bucks with a forced smile.

Once they arrived the two detectives took the boy in the interrogation room so that he would feel here to talk to them. "Is this better?" Olivia asked sitting down beside the boy to make him comfortable. "Yes, thank you detective?" Michael said thanking her but not sure what to call her you can call me detective Benson or Olivia which ever one you fill more comfortable calling Me." Olivia said by next telling him her partner's name. "Ok how did you and Sarah Beth meet?" Elliot asked looking at the young boy sitting in front of him. "We meet on the first day on high school she was in my art class, she sat beside me and then we started talking we become friends fast but her relationship with Brad put a strain on out friendship, he did not want us to hang out so much." The boy said putting his head down staring at the floor. "Why didn't he want the two of you to hang out so much?" Olivia asked caringly. "Because of my secret, and he thought that I wanted to go out with her but I did not, I just wanted to be her friend he treated her like shit and I just wanted her to be happy." Michael said looking up at Elliot who just sat down. "How did he treat her badly?" Elliot asked meeting the boys gaze. "He just did, he would call her bad names and dare her to question what he says." Michael said still holding Elliot's gaze. "You said that she kept your secret can you tell me what it is?" Olivia asked as both of their eyes burned in to her with the question. "I don't feel comfortable talking about it in front of him." The young boy said not meeting Elliot's gaze this time. Olivia smiled at Elliot as he got up and walked out of the room. "So what is the big secret?" Olivia asked looking at the boy. "When my father married, he married a young women and I thought that she was nice they got married when I was seven." The boy said getting out of the chair walking to the window to look out of it. "Did you and your stepmother get along well?" Olivia asked staying seated. I liked her at first she would read to me and sing me to sleep like my mom use to do before she died?" he continued as tears started to form in his eyes. "She did? Well what happened?" Olivia asked knowing that the only way to understand this young boy standing in front of her was to push him to tell her what happened. It may be a lead to finding Sarah Beth's killer. "She..She.. Touched me and put her mouth on my penis and put my fingers in her. Then when I was twelve she came into my room and forced me to have sex with her." He said as tears started to stream down his face. As Olivia got up and walked over to him comforting him. "but when I was sixteen I started to like boys I mean really like boys, Sarah Beth was the only one I told but one of the boys in a class over hear us and during gym he beat my ass say 'I don't want a fag in my locker room looking at me trying to get with me.' I just told everyone that I was joking around with Sarah Beth and that I was really straight. But the whole time thinking to myself stop lying you are gay." He said sitting down as Olivia sat beside him. "Sunday Sarah Beth came over and told me about her date with Brad on Saturday and how disusing she felt." He said focusing on the real reason he was there. "Why did she feel disusing?" Olivia asked removing her arm from around him. "Because that night it wasn't just Sarah Beth and Brad in the car some of his football friends were in the car too they did not go see a movie they when to Check St. that is the new lover's lane. He made her do stuff that she did not want to do." Michael said getting mad. "like what?" Olivia asked pressing him for information. "he made her have sex with them more than one at a time and if she cried he would hit her a make her do it longer I told her to tell the police what he made hr so and she said that when she talked to him that she was going to tall him that." He said starting to cry now not from his pain put the pain he felt for his best friend, his pal, his confidant. Who was now lying on a table in the morgue he knew the pain, fear, and how ashamed she was because he had the same horrible feeling the ones that no matter how hard you try to forget they are still there, no matter how much you drink to silence the voices they get louder, no matter how much drugs you take to make them disappear they reappear and not have terrifying face. Olivia knew how he felt all consumed by something that won't go away something buried so deep that in order to find it you have to break down all the barriers that she had put up and was good at surrounding herself with. "thank you so much Michael." Olivia said giving him a hug we'll take you home now." Olivia said as they walked out of the room to meet Elliot who was smiling. Olivia forced a smile as she met his eyes. The ride back to the Griffin's house seemed quick, when they arrived Olivia walked Michael to the door and gave him her card. "if you need anything day or night just call me." She said as she turned around and went back to the car. Olivia zoned out on the ride back to the precinct, thinking about the feelings that Michael must be going though because she remembered the same feelings when one of her moms many boyfriends raped her and her mom's reaction when she tried to tell her about it.

A tear slipped down her cheek. "what's wrong Liv?" Elliot asked clearly seeing the tear roll down her cheek. "can I tell you something Ell?" Olivia asked looking at him tears filling her eyes. "sure, you know you can tell me anything Liv?" Elliot said smiling at her. "Ell, if I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't worry about me because I dealt with this issue a long time ago." Olivia said seeing Elliot's beautiful smile disappear into a blank stare, as he nodded his head yes. "when I was eight my mom had a live in boyfriend who stayed just as drunk as she did, one night they come in and mom pasts out in a few minutes so he comes in my room and forces my nightgown up, pulls my Saturday panties down, and then pulls his pants down he dares me to scream and holds a knife up to my neck, he enters me hard and causes me to make a small yelping sound something you would think a dog makes after he is though with me he tells me to put clean sheets on my bed and wash the ones with my blood on them. I remember him taking my panties and putting them in his jacket pocket." Olivia said stopping with tears rolling down her cheeks like streams that are flooded when the snow melts off the mountain tops. "and the only reason I remember the day on the panties is because when mom was doing laundry the next week, something she rarely did is because she asked me where my Saturday panties were and when I told her I did not know she spanked me and swore that I would never have day of the week panties anymore if I could not keep up with the days." Olivia said laughing and crying at the same time. Elliot pulled the car over and pulled her in his arms calming her. "Shh sweetie it's not your fault. I'll never let anything happen to you like that again. Liv it is ok just let it go cry, yell, scream, cuss, punch, and just get all that anger out." Elliot said as she started doing all of the things at the same time for an hour Olivia and Elliot just sat their letting her vent all of her animosity toward her mom, the men who took away so much of her that when she was in relationships she had nothing to give to them. Why Olivia? Elliot wondered to himself, not that he would wish this on anyone but Olivia didn't deserve it she had a rotten life from the beginning, conceived because her mother was raped, then to escape the rape her mother became a workaholic alcoholic would Olivia had to care for. Then she was raped by some man her mom brought home, punished for someone stealing her panties, no wonder she put up walls to protect herself. After she finished crying they returned to their drive to the precinct and Olivia slept the whole way for once she looked truly peaceful and Elliot did not want to disturbed that.

By the time they got back it was 6:45 pm. And everyone but the captain had left for the day. "Olivia, Elliot can I see you?" Cragen said opening his office door, has they walk in the office. "Good work today, with the Griffin boy tomorrow we lean hard on the football players who were with Brad Saturday night. Have a good evening." Cragen said as Olivia and Elliot walked out of the office. Olivia put her jacket on and started to walk out realizing that Elliot was not behind her. "I'm just going to work for a few hours." Elliot said smiling at her as she shook her head letting him know that she was ok. After a little while Elliot walks to Cragen's office and knocks on the door. "come in." the captain said shocked that Elliot was still there. "cap I need to talk to you off the record and I need it to stay between you and me. Please don't say anything to anyone." Elliot said looking at the captain as he pours Elliot a drink. "ok, I'll trust you on this one but what is it?" Cragen said as Elliot took a sip of the vodka. "Olivia told me something that happened for her when she was a little girl. That is the reason it took us a while to get back this afternoon. When she was eight she was raped by her mother's live in boyfriend." Elliot said finishing off the glass of vodka. "is it going to impair her work ?" Cragen asked him motion asking him if he wanted another glass. "no I don't think that it will impair her job. But I just wanted to let you know what was wrong with her today just please don't bring up this to her." Elliot said looking at Cragen nodding no to offer of another drink. "I want but you let me know if she is unable to do her job. You hear me Elliot." Cragen demanded as Elliot nodded yes. "now go home to your kids." Cragen finished as Elliot grabbed his coat and went out of the precinct on his way home to his children. He spent the rest of the night cooking dinner and enjoying the company of his three children who seemed to grow up more and more every hour he does not spent with them. Elliot finally got in to bed by twelve am he just lied there thinking about the pain that Olivia must feel everyday of her life when she goes to work and sees all the badness in the world that touched her life before she even knew what badness was. At two thirty he finally fell a sleep before he heard the phone ring. "hello?" he said in a raspy voice. "its me. I was thinking about what Michael said and I think that we should bring in the football players and play it like they told us what happened and what he made Sarah Beth do." She said in an excited voice. "Liv is that you?" he said trying to take in everything she just said. "yes. Did you hear what I said?" she asked lying down on her bed. "yea. Sounds good I'll see you at eight. Night Liv." Elliot said hanging the phone up and going back to sleep. Thank god it was finally Friday Elliot thought as he got dressed and got the kids lunches together, made them breakfast, and greeted the sitter. "I'll be home at five." Elliot said walking out of the door. The players came into the precinct and gave their statements and then as they finished with statements the detectives brought in Brad and showed him the tapes of his friends, his teammates, his companions and they turned on him. He gave them everything he had and they turned him in. "Look Brad I we have their statements and numerous other peoples and now we want to know you side of the story." Olivia said sitting beside him. "I took her out called my friends and they came over and everything they said happened. When she refused to sleep with them I hit her I was just so mad I mean come on she would do anything for that little bastard but she would not even touch me. I would just lose it when she would refuse me." Brad said pulling his chair closer to Olivia putting his hand on her leg. "what happened the next when she came over to talk to you?" Elliot asked picking his hand up off Olivia's leg. "I hit her over and over and over, when she told me she was coming to see you guys. After I stopped hitting her and realized what had happened she was dead. I wrapped her body in a sheet and them in a big garage bag and pull my weights in it and dumped in the river." He said as Casey came in. "I want to pled guilty and sever my time without getting anyone else involved." He said standing up leaving to go sing-sing. It was already four thirty by the time that Brad was booked and processed.

"It is not every day that I get a win without setting foot inside a courthouse." Casey said walking in the precinct. "good work guys, I want you all to take the weekend off for the holidays." Cragen said sitting on Munch's desk. "yes." They all yelled grabbing their coats and heading out the door for their celebration of another case solved. "I've got to get home." Elliot said as they walked toward Mulleins Pub. "Elliot go ahead I'll go watch the kids." Olivia said hailing a cab. "are you sure?" Elliot asked looking at Olivia who was smiling. "yea you deserve a break every now and then." She said seeing a smile coming across his face "I'll call the sitter and let her know." Elliot said leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in the story dick wolf and nbc do.

Kathy's big surprise for Olivia.

When Olivia got to Elliot's house the kids were excited to see her. "Hey Liv were is dad at?" Kathleen asked as she gave Olivia a hug. Olivia has always been close to Elliot's kids and she as seen them grow up so over the years that she and Elliot have been partners. She and Kathleen were the closest and have gotten even closer since Kathy left. "oh we closed a case today and the whole team was going out your dad was going to come home but I told him that I would come over and watch you guys until he gets home plus I have not seen you guys in a while." Olivia said pulling out the phonebook looking for the takeout section. "So guys what is it going to be this evening pizza, Chinese, steak and bake?" Olivia asked has the kids came in and sat down at the table with her. "I think pizza sounds good." Dickie said sitting next to Olivia. "One all the way and one with just pepperoni and mushroom?" she asked dialing the number as all the kids nodded in agreement. After placing the order she went through the regular routine that started at seven thirty. "Ok rock, paper, and scissors to see who is going to get a bath first." She said watching to make sure no one cheated. "Hurry up guys the pizza will be here before you all get done showering if you move this slow." Olivia jokingly said to the kids as Kathleen got into the bathroom. As Dickie ran to Elliot's bathroom and Olivia followed to get the water the right temperature for him. By then Kathleen was finishing with her shower and Elizabeth was in her room getting her pjs ready to hop in the shower. "Elizabeth can I ask you a question?" Olivia said sitting down on the young girl's bed. "sure." Elizabeth said sitting down at the end of her bed away from Olivia. "You do not like me much, why?" Olivia asked as the girl looked at her surprises. "I do like you Liv but I am scared that if I get close to you that you will leave like my mommy and then daddy would be all upset again because he really likes you and last time he really liked someone it was mommy and she left us." Olivia was shocked at the little girls reasoning and by the fact that Elliot her partner and best friends had feelings for her. "I promise you that no matter happens between me and your daddy that I will always be here for you guys." Olivia said pulling the girl into a big caring hug. "Your turn Elizabeth." Kathleen scouted. "Do you need me to fix your water?" Olivia asked as Elizabeth shook her head no. hearing the door bell ring Olivia ran downstairs to greet the pizza guy. "Hi, it'll be eighteen even." The high school boy said. "Thanks." Olivia said handing him a twenty and shutting the door. "Hurry up you two dinner's here." Olivia yelled as the twins raced down the stairs as Olivia put the popcorn in the microwave. "You know the drill pick out a movie to watch." Olivia yelled from the kitchen. "We decided to watch the sound of music." The two girls said in unison. "Sounds good." Olivia said sitting the popcorn down and Dickie took the seat beside her. "I'll tell you what why don't we watch a different movie while we eat and then while I am getting a bath you can watch the movie in your dad's bed." Olivia said winking a Dickie knowing that he really did not want to watch the sound of music. "Ok fine as long as we get to watch the movie sometime tonight." The girls said pouting. They finished Madagascar dinner and the popcorn and headed toward Elliot's room. "Ok I'll only be in the bath for a few minutes." Olivia said starting the movie and walking into the bathroom. The bath felt great to her tired worn muscles. Man she wished she had a bathtub in her apartment instead of just a shower. Before she knew the kids were knocking on the door. "Liv you ok in there." She heard Kathleen ask. "Yea I am getting out of the tub right now." Olivia said getting out of the tub and drying off. She quickly got dressed and got on the bed between the twins. Before long the kids had fell asleep and she had nodded off too. Elliot got home at eleven thirty and quietly walked around his house trying to find Olivia and the kids. He walked to his room and what he found melted his heart. Olivia looked so peaceful and right at home lying between his kids and kids looked happy having her there. I quietly walked over and picked up Kathleen and put her in her bed as he thought back to when she was a little girl and she would fall asleep while he read her a night time story on the couch and he would gently pick her up cradle her in his arms and carry her upstairs to tuck her in her bed. He laid her in the bed and covered her up and kissed her on the forehead then he did it two more times once with Dickie and then with Elizabeth. He remembered back to when Kathy found out that she was having twins he was floored. They already had two kids and were not expecting to have anymore but then bam she was pregnant, he was so happy when they finally had a son and then his sweet quiet little angel who had to be hospitalized the first three months of her life. He walked back to his bedroom as he saw how peaceful Olivia looked cuddled up in his blankets. It made him want her even more and she was so close she was lying in his bed, under his blankets, her head was on his pillows, and she was wearing one of his big t-shirts. What was he thinking he pondered getting a pair of boxers and pajama pants out of his dresser so that he could go get a shower to cool off. Olivia woke up when she heard the shower turn off a few moments later Elliot appear from the steamy bathroom as he headed out the door Olivia called his name. "Ell, we are both adults why don't you come and sleep in your bed." Olivia said moving over to the other side of the bed. Elliot gladly accepted her offer and lay down on the other side of the bed. "Night Liv." Elliot said turning over to face the window looking to the backyard. "Ell, we need to talk?" Olivia said as Elliot turned over. "Yea, what's wrong?" Elliot asked. "Elizabeth told me how you feel. It is true do you really like me?" she asked as she felt her stomach flip-flop. "Yea I do like you Liv and I want us to be more than just friends, what do you think?" Elliot half questioned, half stated, hoping that she felt the same way. "You have been so great to me of the years and especially through out this whole mess with Kathy." Elliot said before Olivia could say anything. "Elliot I really like you in more ways than you could ever imagine but I don't think that we should be getting involved what if we break up, we still have to work together and I don't want to mess up our friendship." Olivia said chocking away the tears. "Liv I promise that I will not give up on our relationship plus sometimes you have to take risk in love. You are someone worth fighting for, I want to make your life whole, to have a family with you." He said looking at her in her eyes as she moved towards him and their lips met. "Ummm… that was nice Ell." Olivia said has their lips parted. "Ok Ell lets give this a shot but before we get involved you have to get your kids approval." Olivia said looking at Elliot has he picked up the phone dialing Maureen's number at her dorm. "Maureen, are you asleep?" Elliot asked as the young woman answered the phone. "No, I was... was studying for a test on Monday." Maureen said pushing her boyfriend off of her. "I need to ask you a question a very serious question." He said as Maureen giggled into the phone. "Ok dad shoot." She said once again pushing her boyfriend off of her. "What would you think if Olivia and I started dating?" She was shocked she knew that there was something between her dad and Olivia but never thought that they would act on it. "I think that that is a good idea you both deserve to be happy and I know how much you care for Olivia and how much she cares for you I'll see you in the morning for thanksgiving." Maureen said trying to get off the phone to get back to what her and her boyfriend was doing. "Maureen why don't you bring your boyfriend for dinner." Elliot said as Olivia laughed and Maureen agreed. He then when and woke up the other kids to get their approval of his and Olivia's relationship. When he came back to bed Olivia was waiting for him to wrap her in his arms. "I was getting lonely and cold." Olivia said cuddling up to Elliot as he kissed her. His hands traveled down from her head to her shoulders and his lips followed they then brushed over her perky breast touching her nipples making them erect he lowered his head and started to nibble and suckle on each nipple taking in the glory of her body. As he sucked on her breast and nipples she let out a repressed sigh as her body shivered from ecstasy. Elliot realized that she was not putting up an argument as he moved down to her flat lean stomach kissing his way down to her hidden jewel of womanhood. Has he reached this spot she let out a loud pleading cry. "Please Elliot I want you. I need you to fill Me." She said pulling his head up to hers as he saw the need and desire in her eyes. Elliot got up and went to the bathroom, was this really about to happen was he really about to have sex with his best friend and partner had she pleaded with him to have sex with her. He washed his face and brushed his teeth he turned the light off as he left the bathroom. "Elliot is everything ok?" Olivia asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Yea are you sure that you really want to go through with this?" Elliot questioned her getting a condom out putting it on lying in bed beside Olivia as she reached over and kissing him pulling him on top of her with her kiss. He was bigger than Olivia thought that he when he entered her breath caught. The sex was passionate and wildly crazy after what seemed and felt like hours their frenzied sex brought them to a long extended wave of pinnacle delight. After finishing they kissed and feel asleep in each others arms. Olivia's cell phone rang at five a.m. "hello, detective Benson." Olivia said as Elliot rolled over. "Olivia I need to see you at park café around ten a.m." a voice said as Olivia realized that it was Kathy as a wave a guilt rushed over her as she remembered she had done noting wrong. "Sure I'll meet you there." Olivia said rolling over putting her arm around Elliot. The alarm on her cell phone went out at eight thirty she got up and went to shower and dress quickly before going to meet Kathy to see what was wrong. Elliot woke up and joined her in the shower. He kissed her pulling her close to him has Olivia felt his erection against her pelvis. "I really want to do this but I can't I've got to go meet someone at ten all the way in the city." Olivia said jumping out the shower as she toweled off and got dressed. She haled a cab and head off to the café. Olivia arrived at nine thirty. She ordered a large café mocha and started to read the newspaper. At ten fifteen Kathy showed up with a baby car seat and a little baby boy wrapped in layers of hospital blankets. "hey." Olivia said standing up to give Kathy a hug. "Thanks for meeting me, look I did not want to call Elliot and tell him that I was pregnant when I left him but look I can't take care of his child." Kathy said sitting down in at the table as the waiter walked over as she ordered a large regular coffee. "So what do you want me to do for you?" Olivia questioned taking a sip of her steamy chocolate liquid. "I need for you to take Elliot his son all the papers are signed and there is a blood test to prove to him that the kid is his." Kathy said taking her coffee and running out of the door of the café. "Promise me that you will take care of my kids." Kathy said running out of the door to her boyfriend's car. Olivia ran after Kathy. "I will I promise." Olivia yelled out of the front door of the café. "Hey cutie." She said to the baby boy who had just been abandoned by his mother. Now it was back to Elliot's house with a baby that she was going to have to explain. What was he going to think? Olivia wondered kissing the baby as she and the little baby went shopping.


	3. Chapter 3

What do we do now?

Olivia and this child without a name went shopping all day after all it was black Friday and she now had a big family to buy for. At two she finally sat down for lunch and prepared him a bottle. "Hey little guy here you go." She said cradling him in her arms, cooing and fawning over him. "Here you go miss. Isn't he a cutie pie." The waitress said sitting Olivia's plate down on the table as Olivia's cell phone rang. "Hey babe where are you dinner is in a few hours and everyone is on their way." Elliot said sweetly but concerned. "Hey El I know that this is going to sound weird and I just want you to meet me at _Shea's_. It is important." Olivia said hanging up. "Kathleen I need you to watch your brother and sister until Maureen gets here." Elliot said running out of the house grabbing his jacket and car keys. What could possibly that important that she could not come home and me, he thought driving quickly to the restaurant. Olivia had her back turned away from the door when Elliot walked into the restaurant and over to her. "Liv, what was so important that I had to meet you here and you could not come home to talk to me." Elliot said reaching down to kiss her as he saw the baby she was cradling in her arms. "Here this will explain." She said handing him the envelop with his name written on the outside in Kathy's handwriting. He sat down and started to read the letter. It said:

Dear Ell,

I am sorry about what happened between

us. I know that it has been hard on the kids

I want you to know that the reason I left and

stopped trying to make it work it wasn't

because I could not handle the emptiness

that you brought home with you after giving

you're all at work. It was because I have been

a wife and mother for eighteen years and I

just think it is time for me. In the envelop

you will find the blood test that proves that he

is your child. Please take care of him and give him

a great life and name. Don't try to find me I will

be unable to be contacted.

Best wishes,

Kathy

Elliot started to tear up and this caused Olivia to wonder if he really wanted her or if she was just a replacement of Kathy. "That bitch she wasn't even woman enough to call me and meet me to drop my son off. She brought you in to this. I didn't want for you to be tainted by this part of my life that I am glad is over." Elliot said grabbing Olivia's hand as a sigh of relief washed over her and she smiled at him. "What should we call him?" Olivia said looking in his eyes. "I've done this four times why don't you pick out his name Liv, you'll be a big part of his life from now on." Elliot said smiling at her. "How about Christian Elliot." Olivia said smiling back at Elliot. "I like that it sounds good." Elliot said looking at the baby as Olivia handed him the baby. "Hey cutie pie how are you? Look at your little hands and feet and tummy and face." Elliot said looking the baby over giving him kisses on his face. "Olivia smiled and felt a greater love for this man, she loved this part of him the part that came out when he was around his kids and her when they were at home or alone. "Let's go home and introduce you to your brother and sisters." Elliot said putting Christian in his car seat and buckling him in. Olivia paid the bill and all three of them got into the car to go home to dinner. Olivia was nervous about what the other kids would think about having a new brother. After all this would make number five. "Five kids, man Ell nice shooting." Olivia said looking at Elliot from the passenger seat with a laugh. "Yea I guess so." Elliot said looking in the rear view mirror to check on Christian. "What do you think the kids will say?" Olivia asked watching Elliot look at his son. "I am sure that they will be ok with it." Elliot said looking over at Olivia. The rest of the ride was quite. Once they got to the house Elliot called a family meeting and Olivia sat in the kitchen out of the meeting since she wasn't really part of the family. "Daddy doesn't Liv have to come to the meeting?" Dickie asked Elliot while everyone was looking at the baby. "She sure should be." Elliot said smiling at Dickie and going to get Olivia out of the kitchen. "Come on Liv." Elliot said smiling at her. "No I am ok here. I don't need to come to the meeting I am not really family." Olivia said not moving from her seat. "Liv you are now a part of this family." Elliot said pulling her chair out and kissing her. "Ok I'll be right there." Olivia said getting up to get something to drink. "Look guys this is your new brother Christian your mom called Liv today and gave her this baby. So now we have a new baby in the family." Elliot said looking at the other kids for the slightest expression. "Anyone want to say anything?" Elliot asked looking at the kids. "Dad have you forgotten we have went through this before it is not a big deal." Maureen said looking at the baby and picking the baby up. "He is just so precious." They all commented about their new brother. Dinner went smoothly and for once Olivia had a family to share the holidays with and it made her feel good. After dinner the kids sat in the living room and watched movies while Olivia, Elliot, Maureen, and Jeff were in the dining room playing cards when Jeff pulled Elliot aside and asked if he could marry Elliot's first child, his baby girl, and the one little girl that made him still feel needed even though he need she was grown up. Elliot laid into him with the fifth degree daring him to ever think about breaking his little girl's heart. Then ended it with a half smirk before giving Jeff the permission to marry her. When they got back to the dining room where the girls were talking Jeff got down on one knee in front of Maureen has Elliot grabbed the video camcorder. "Elliot did you know about this?" Olivia questioned him. "What do you think?" Elliot smirked back at her and kissed her. "Well Maureen I've asked your father for permission now all I need is yours will you be my wife?" Jeff asked looking in Maureen's eyes. "Yes Jeff I will be your wife." Maureen said kissing Jeff as a tear rolled down Elliot's cheek.


End file.
